Walking in Faith

Abraham Lincoln once said, "I have been driven many times upon my knees by the overwhelming conviction that I had nowhere else to go. My own wisdom, and that of all about me, seemed insufficient for the day." This insightful quote seems very appropriate to my current state of mind. I am deciding whether or not I should consider this year to be possibly the worst ever of my life. Certainly there have been times of greater emotional pain and suffering, but never have I been at a place of such physical weakness and material need. So far this year I have experienced the death of a brother, a heart attack, having to rebuild the Jeep's transmission, A/C went out at the house and was fixed, the water has all but dried up at the house, we're being overrun by insects, and now the A/C has gone out again. This has left me with seemingly insurmountable debt and for the very first time in my life I honestly don't know how our family will make it through the next two weeks until I get paid again....or possibly longer as the government argues over the debt ceiling. Yes, I rely on disability as part of my income. I am not proud of it and am going through the long process of rehabilitation and retraining to be useful once again. For a man who has struggled and sacrificed his whole adult life to support his family, this is unfamiliar spiritual territory for me. There has always been something that I could do in the physical to solve our financial problems. Today, however, I feel totally helpless and at the mercy of the world.
Before anyone accuses me of being a whiner, let me state for the record that, despite my current circumstances, I consider myself to be greatly blessed.  For one, I am still alive and breathing, which was hammered home to me in several situations, is a blessing not to be taken for granted. I have an incredible family whom I love with all my heart and soul. It is because of my love for them that I feel much shame over not being able to be come up with the answers or resources during our current trials. As broken as it is, we have a nice home on a nice little piece of ground. And, so far, nobody in our home has ever had to go to bed hungry. I don't have to look far to find people who are dealing with far worse than our current troubles; people who are facing hunger, homelessness, crippling and fatal diseases, abuse, violence, death, and war. In a global perspective, our current problems are probably laughable. Yet, they are our problems and we struggle with them.
God has given me a wonderful wife who tries patiently to remind me, as I'm stressing and panicking, that the Lord has always been there for us and seen us through the hard times. It is a new thing for me but she reminds me that I should be faithfully speaking God's promises as we pray and seek answers for our difficulties. In my natural mind, there is anxiety, doubt and fear. Yet in my spirit, I know God is faithful. I do not understand why things do not always happen the way we would have them happen. I am not God's equal so I cannot totally understand His mind and His purposes. Yet I have seen His goodness and His mercy in my life and have experienced seemingly unthinkable results when I have pursued Him. I know that He is capable of anything and that He wishes goodness for all His children. So, despite my weaknesses of anxiety and fear, I stand fast on His promises as I pray and wait to see in what way He will move. Below are just a few of the scriptures that I am meditating on through these tough times. I hope that in sharing them you will be blessed by them. There are so many more. Feel free to share!

• Jeremiah 29:13

  New International Version (NIV)
  ¹³ You will seek me and find me when you seek me with all your heart.

• 1 Chronicles 16:10

  New International Version (NIV)

  
  ¹⁰ Glory in his holy name;
  let the hearts of those who seek the LORD rejoice. 

• Isaiah 40:29

  New International Version (NIV)

  
  ²⁹ He gives strength to the weary
  and increases the power of the weak.

• 2 Corinthians 5:7

  New International Version (NIV)

  ⁷ For we live by faith, not by sight.

• Matthew 11:28

  New International Version (NIV)
  
  ²⁸ Come to me, all you who are weary and burdened, and I will give you rest.

• Psalm 46:1-3

  New International Version (NIV)

  
  

  ¹ God is our refuge and strength,
  an ever-present help in trouble.
  ² Therefore we will not fear, though the earth give way
  and the mountains fall into the heart of the sea,
  ³ though its waters roar and foam
  and the mountains quake with their surging.^[